Would YOUR husband take your surname after marriage? Research shows over a third of men would swap to their wife’s last name in a ‘growing trend’

• Over a third of UK grooms would take their bride’s last name after tying the knot
• READ MORE: Bride-to-be’s wedding dress photo captures two different reflections staring back at her in the mirror

In what experts have described as a ‘growing trend’, over a third (35 per cent) of UK men would take their partner’s last name after marriage.

It comes as almost one in five brides (16 per cent) say they wouldn’t want to change their name when tying the knot.

Also described as ‘increasingly popular’ by experts is couples taking on double-barrell surnames when they get hitched.

According to new research from Guides For Brides, the topic of whether or not to change your surname after marriage is increasingly becoming a subject of debate.

More and more women are now choosing to stick with their own family name (16 per cent) rather than taking the more traditional route of switching to their new spouse’s name.

A growing number of grooms are changing their name after tying the knot, according to new research (stock image)

At the same time, more men are now more open to changing their last name to their partner’s after marriage (35 per cent).

A survey carried out by the Guides For Brides lists highlights three top reasons for women wanting to hold on to their family name,

These are wanting to carry on your family name; preferring your own surname; and loss of identity proving most popular. 

Industry expert, Cécile Mazuet-Eller, Founder and Managing Director of NameSwitch, shared her take on the survey findings, revealing that in her opinion, arguments with your partner about name changing is never the answer.

Would you/have you taken your partner’s last name after marriage?

 

All

Men

Women 

 Yes

60% 

35%

 84%

 No

40% 

65% 

16% 

While traditions are slowly changing, the survey data shows that people are still likely to take their partner’s surname after marriage.

However, now, there is a significant proportion that would refuse to (40 per cent).

Breaking that data down further into gender shows that the majority of women still want to follow tradition, with 84 per cent of those asked responding yes to changing their name, and just 16 per cent breaking away from protocol, sharing ‘they wouldn’t want to or haven’t changed their name after tying the knot’.

According to  Cécile says: ‘People will do what feels right for them. If you want to stick, you can stick. The couples in the last decade, certainly in the last three to five years, are paving the way for people not to expect that every woman will become Mrs husband’s name. 

‘We still see the vast majority of women going down the traditional route and taking their partner’s surname.’

Discussing men, she continued: ‘Men changing their surname has increased massively. I love the fact that men are making the changes. It’s a growing trend. I would say it’s tripled in the last three years. 

‘We’re just coming out of this wedding season and I’m definitely seeing more this year than I did last year.

‘We have helped quite a few guys to change their surname. They had really popular names, like Smith or Jones. They took their wife’s surname for specific reasons, as their wife could have been at the end of a family line. It’s also important to understand the family heritage.’

Also described as ‘increasingly popular’ by experts is couples taking on double-barrell surnames when they get hitched (stock image)

When it comes to double-barrell surnames after marriage, reserach shows one in four people would or have chosen to merge together both their surname and their partner’s surname. 

There isn’t a huge difference in the breakdown between men and women, with a significant proportion of adults surveyed unsure.

According to Cécile: ‘Double-barrelling is massive and becoming really popular. It’s tripled in the last year alone. It used to be one in eight couples, but now it’s one in six. 

‘You’re fusing two names together in whichever order. Traditionally the man’s name was second, but nowadays people do what sounds right. It used to be reserved for the posh lot, like the polo players or someone like Camilla Parker Bowles. 

Would you or do you have a double-barrell surname?

 

All

Men

Women 

 Yes 

25%

27% 

24% 

 No 

60% 

59%

61% 

 Unsure 

 15%

14%

15% 

‘If you double-barrell, it’s up to you if you do it as a couple or just one person. That’s the most important thing, it’s about choice and doing what’s right for you and not what’s expected of you.’

She added that another new trend we are seeing more of is meshing, where two names are fused together, like Dawn Porter became Dawn O’Porter after marrying Chris O’Dowd. 

Cécile said: ‘We do see some families coming together, who are quite bold, and create team names. I get excited about that because they’re basically setting a new line in the sand. 

‘Some of the reasons people do something different, like meshing, is also because they’ve tried double-barrelling and it didn’t sound or feel right. 

‘Meshing, which is still quite rare, is probably about one per cent of couples. We’re finding same-sex couples might be a bit bolder to mesh.

‘People can also make their maiden name their middle name. One in four of our brides at Name Switch will do that.’

When it comes to reasons for keeping your own surname (see table) they range from preferring your own name, to wanting to hold on to your sense of identity.

Cécile said: ‘A person might have a family name that they feel strongly about preserving and honouring than one that they’re marrying into. 

‘The world has changed. Another reason is people are getting married later, so women have more of a career and are more established.

‘ It’s all sorts of different factors. The most important thing is that if it doesn’t feel right, then don’t.’

Keeping your surname for professional reasons – for example, having established a career under that name, or published work associated with that name, means it makes sense to be known as that name after marriage. 

Some people keep their own surname professionally, but change it privately.

According to Cécile: ‘If you keep your maiden name professionally, but change it in the private world, you can change your passport into your new name, but make an observation that says known professionally as.

Reasons for keeping your own surname 

1. Carrying on the family surname (40 per cent).

2. Preferring your own surname (37 per cent).

3. Loss of identity (12 per cent).

4. Not liking your partner’s surname (six per cent). 

‘It doesn’t mean you can travel in that name, but it helps to show a legal stance that you do legitimately have two names – one professional and one personal.’

When it comes to her expert advice on how to navigate a conversation about changing your name, Cécile said: ‘I think it’s important to have the conversation early. 

‘First of all, don’t get into an argument. It’s a passionate topic, so you have to listen to each other and be able to understand each other’s rationale. It might be a multipart conversation. 

‘Ultimately, how you guys navigate something like this is an important skill that you need to have in marriage. How you understand about listening to each other, and how you can come to a compromise. 

‘When you share your life with somebody, you’re not always wanting, needing or feeling the same things at the same time. Reflection and time is important. People will rarely come to a good conclusion in an argument.’

If you are looking to change your name, she recommends getting ‘two to four copies of whatever document you’re using, marriage certificate, civil partnership and deed poll’. 

She explained: ‘It allows you to send multiple copies off. If you’ve only got one passport or driving license, half of the government bodies need to see the original. 

‘Most financially regulated companies also need to see the original. If you’ve only got one, it will drag out. Two to four versions, that is a tip that I tell everyone.’

And another important point she notes is that once you’ve made your decision, you should ‘let your wedding party and suppliers know, particularly if that decision is a deviation from the ordinary’. 

‘They won’t know what names to write on the cards, or how to announce you during the wedding day,’ she explained. ‘That’s important and it’s on the couples to let them know.’

Her third tip is to talk as long as needed to come to the decision. 

Cécile said: ‘One of the things we always say to people is consider your options, weigh up your options and talk about your reasons with your partner, calmly. 

‘Particularly if it’s something they might not be expecting. If you’re going through stuff that’s quite important, you need to time those important conversations. 

‘Talk about them calmly, listen to each other’s reasons and opinions.’

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